Thursday, December 20, 2007

Spontaneous Quantum and Newtonian Ritual

So, I've been going through it lately. Usually I can simultaneously go through something while also having some outside perspective on myself so as to direct myself to get support, clarity or a direction in which to move. Inotherwords, to go through something but also shift it. Not so as of late - overwhelming stuff, complicated, and loud, loud voices in my head, none too flattering.

At least now I have some perspective on what's going on with me: I have some splendid plans and goals and desires for the near and far future, and they are great and grand and will require a me that is larger, greater and grander than the me I am at this moment. The process of growing, expanding, shifting is uncomfortable, painful even, strange and disconcerting.

So, you want to hear one thing that helped?

I had a coaching session with my dear friend, who is a high-end corporate conflict-resolution coach, paid over $10,000 a day for his expertise, ability and heart. (No, he didn't charge me $10,000!)

In knowing him, I have observed that there is a way he speaks and relates to people that powerfully conveys his value or the value of whatever he is talking about. I originally set up our session to get the inside scoop on how he was so good at this: knowing his own value, or the value of whatever he is behind, and conveying that powerfully and masterfully. And also, to put it bluntly, because I suck at these things he's so good at.

I got that, and I got more.

There are two things I go from my friend, the wondercoach. First is a distinction from NLP (Neuro-Lingusistic Programming) which says that for a shift to take hold, it has to be both "Quantum" and "Newtonian." Quantum, meaning on a cellular level, a level of our make-up, our past, our energies; Newtonian meaning on the level of causality, of concrete steps, how-to's or everyday tools, methods and means.

Part-way through the session I was experiencing a strange thing: extreme emotion and so much varied sensation in my body that was almost too much to manage, all not directly related to what we were talking about. I felt like somethings had fallen away, some parts of me had been rearranged and replaced with clearer, more powerful parts. I was experiencing quantum shift.

A while back, I asked another friend of mine, a holistic nutrition counselor, environmental activist and witch, to help me with a ritual. I wanted to dance again, after 3 years of not dancing professionally, but I wanted to go forward without any baggage I've accumulated over the years from my relationship with dance. It was profound, silly and strange at times; it was relevant and seemed pointless at times. But at the end, I was altered, changed. The baggage I wished to let go is gone. Amazingly gone.

The process and effect of my coaching session are so similar to my witchy ritual. There is great power in speaking what we most want to walk into, what needs to be left behind in order to do so. And the result is an irrevocable shift, both Newtonian and Quantum.

The second thing I got from wondercoach came clear as he explained his process around value: illicit what the person you are relating to WANTS MOST, what has MOST VALUE TO THEM; then continue to listen to them, ask questions of them and speak to them (this is the important part) AS THOUGH THEY WILL HAVE WHAT THEY WANT MOST. If your listening and speaking toward the person is in the light of them already being having what they want most, the reality of it exists. They easily walk into it, embody it, create it, see it not only as a possibility, but as an inevitable reality. And the things that come up are then the things that can be looked at and examined to have fall away, as impediments to having what it is you want.

And then I realized this was how he had been relating to me. He was careful to illicit what I wanted most, and spoke and related to me from a place of believing with the utmost clarity that I would have that.

And it was this that created this powerful shift in me.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Darkest Day of the Year

One thing has always been comforting to me, during the winter months that get increasingly colder and shorter and darker, making me want to crawl inside myself, or bed. On December 21st, the days start getting longer, 2 minutes per day. December 21st itself is the shortest, darkest day of the year; but on this day there is the seed or the beginning of moving toward light and warmth again.

Things were going along swimmingly for me, until a few weeks ago. In fact, it felt very much like I was swimming along, and all of a sudden realized I was surrounded by a thick bunch of jelly-fish. Miles long, miles deep. Everywhere, jelly-fish. And so I froze, knowing that if I moved right, that one would sting me silly; if I moved left, that one would reveal 18 more behind it; if I moved backward, that one would knock me out cold.

The momentum of my life, recent move and all my projects has slowed, and the water is clearing, like silt to the bottom of the pond, revealing some strong, sly demons I was sure had long gone.

I am grateful I have an extraordinary partner to listen, dig deeper, and not run as I cover all aspects of the feminine expression in the span of 20 minutes. He has been extraordinary, and I appreciate the work we've both done to have this kind of support now.

I don't know what to say. From where I sit, it's either breakthrough or breakdown, or both. I know I put all these jelly fish in my own way, I know I created them. But they seem real. And terrifying.

I'll keep you posted.

These are potent words - that somehow help me right now - from Jed McKenna's second book, "Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment:"

(Although I take the tactic of loving my demons to death, rather than slaying them...)

"To move forward, you must figure out exactly what is obstructing you. Whatever it is, it isn't really there; it has no reality, no substance. It's your own creation, a phantom lurking in the shadows of your mind, a shadow demon. Your obstructions are your demons, and your demons are shadow dwellers. They live and thrive in the half-light of ignorance, so the way to slay a demon is by illuminating it with the full force and power of your focused attention; by looking at it, hard. Banish shadow with light and see for yourself that no obstruction exists, nor ever did. We create our demons and we feed them. To awaken we must slay them. That's really the whole process: Slay one demon, take one step.

Repeat."


Even the darkest day of the year holds within it the seeds of the light and sweet days of summer....