You are not broken, lazy or stupid

This is the most blunt way I can sum up the many elegant presuppositions of the training program I am in right now.

If you aren't getting what you most want in life (a satisfying relationship, getting to the gym, a new job, self-confidence, etc), despite your efforts, desires and hopes toward getting it - AND if you CAN'T (just for a moment, I know it's hard) assume it's because you are defective, broken, lazy or stupid, what exactly might be at work? If you are an elegant, well-working human being, then what? Why don't you have these things you want so much?

That is the compelling, head-scratching question I can now answer, as I enter the final lap of training (1.5 years) at NLP Marin (www.nlpmarin.com), a little saintly school in the bay area of California that I happened upon by chance a year ago.

I once again find myself studying from masters, at the feet of great teaching, reveling in the learning of it all, the elegant, deeply human, swift and remarkable tools to support folks to get what it is they want most.

I find I can no longer tolerate a coach/client relationship that is judgmental, shaming, blaming or based on "breaking through"; or that attempts to cut away or remove unwanted parts, however subtle that might have been in my training until now. Who am I to tell you how it is for you? You know. We'll find out together. Yes, my role and training is as the one that can see what you can't see, since it's so close and in a blind spot like one's own nose on one's face. I am simply the one that can observe, be curious and ask. The proof is in your experience.

How arrogant to think we can surgically remove an unwanted part so that we can finally be the upstanding person who hope we might be. How incredibly complex, but amazing, is the human being. And how great is the job to offer someone to get what they want most, without cutting anything away at all.

It is with great gratitude that I think of my training, exhausted as I am from a weekend full of it. I thought I'd get some more training under my belt to better work with clients. I got that and also got swept up in a wave of a deeply humanizing body of knowledge.

I am a better human being because of it.

Thus Spake LiYana

OK, that is a terrible allusion, but don't hold it against me.

Come hear me speak on "The Power to ReDefine Monogamy"
at the Eighth Annual Polyamory Pride Weekend

Approximately 3:30pm
Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Great Hill, 106th Street & Central Park West (map below)
Central Park, New York City

I am excited to speak to such an expressed, responsible, enthusiastic group of people; those who consider themselves to wear the moniker of Polyamory are among the most responsible, fun, considerate and articulate people I know of. They are "black belt" communicators, impeccable with their boundaries and loving human beings. Certainly, there are some Polyamorous jerks out there, but I've yet to meet them.

So, if you, too, wear this badge of Polyamory, or if you are mildly, medium-ly or extra spicey-ly interested in the world of responsible non-monogamy, come check out the festivities.

Especially me! ;-)

Here's all about it:

For all Polyamorous, Poly-friendly and Poly-curious people and their families, join Polyamorous NYC for a full weeekend of events and a long list of leaders and experts from all over the country - including yours truly!

* Friday, October 3rd, 7:30 -10:00pm: Super-Massive Cuddle Party!
The largest Cuddle Party of the year.

* Saturday, October 4th, 12:00 - 6:00pm: The Main Event:
Picnic+Rally in Central Park on Saturday with an all-star list of entertainers
and speakers.

* Saturday, October 4th, 9:00 - 1:00am: The Poly Party:
The after-party to meet and mingle.

* Sunday, October 5th, 12:30 - 2:30pm: Read & Sign with experts and authors
and some of the most prominent books on Polyamory.


For more information, check out: http://www.poly-nyc.com/pride.html


MAP: the entrance to Great Hill is up the stairs at 106th & CPW: